


Wires

by mvernet



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hutch Flashbacks, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Post-Episode: s04e22 Sweet Revenge, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 12:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11357313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: Starsky is recovered and back on the job after the Gunther case. But Hutch has never really dealt with Starsky’s near death experience.A songfic inspired by Wires by Athlete.Listen on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmm7TmvxrQw





	Wires

Running down corridors  
Through automatic doors  
Got to get to you  
Got to see this through  


~S~S~S~

Starsky POV

The first time the fuckin’ thing hits, the seizure, or whatever the fuckin’ hell it is, me and Hutch are on the firing range. I am finally feelin’ good after months of rehab and constant naggin’ from my obsessive partner. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love the big, dumb blond marshmallow with all my heart. Who else but the white knight would bring me back from the brink then avenge my one minute death by bringing Gunther to his knees?

I know I wouldn’t be here, back at my job, if it weren’t for him. Hell, I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for him cryin’ my name into the cosmos when I made my choice to live or die. But I didn’t tell him that. Not then.

Sorry, got distracted. Talkin’ about Hutch does that to me. 

So anyway, the first time, he was leanin’ against a wall with his arms and ankles crossed, a brotherly smirk on his face and a more than brotherly twinkle in his eye. He was watchin’ me demolish a range target when it hit him.

I didn’t notice at first. It was a rainy Tuesday and Hutch and me were alone on the firing range. I had signaled Wilkins who was assigned to the range that day that I was done. He waved from his booth and set off to close up. I took off my protective ear muff things and turned to say somethin’ smartass to my buddy. 

He looked bad. His breathing was tight and raspy and their were silent tears comin’ from his eyes. And his eyes. Oh, man his eyes. They were… empty.

I ran to him calling his name. I kinda knew it wasn’t a heart attack. I had been waitin’ for him to break. But I thought maybe he’d gotten past it . I was alive after all. I hate to think what would have happened if… but like I said, that’s why I declined my free ticket to paradise. I knew he needed me. You just don’t go to riding off to paradise without your white knight.

I spoke soft and gentle. Using words like ‘safe’ and ‘breathe’, as if he was an abuse victim or somethin’ trembling in a corner of an empty warehouse. I rubbed his cold hands and wiped the warm tears from his cheeks.

Slowly, like one of those slow motion recaps on TV, he came back to me. He gazed at my face and raised a hand to my cheeks. Somehow they’d gotten wet and he dried them. He took my wrist and ran his fingertips over the pulse point. He looked up amazed, croaked out a raw, “Starsky.” and fell into my arms holding on like he would never let me go.

~H~H~H~  


You got wires, goin' in  
You got wires, comin' out of your skin  
You got tears  
Making tracks  
I got tears  
That are scared of the facts  


~H~H~H~ Hutch Pov/Flashback

Gunshots.

Multiple GSW.

Starsky.

I’m alone with my partner and I don’t know what to do. He’s got wires and tubes everywhere. Piercing his precious skin. Electrodes. Breathing tube. Drainage tube. Catheter. I start to think about what each intrusive device does and I shut my mind to the rabid fear. Not now. I can’t lose it now. He’s alive now. He needs me to fight for him. I open my eyes and notice tears. First on him, then on me.

What the hell? We don’t cry. Much. Starsky should never cry. I gently wipe the few errant tears from his cheek. It’s probably just a reaction to medication. They tell me he’s not in pain. That’s okay, I’ve got enough for both of us, buddy. I’ll gladly carry your share. Just keep breathing. That’s all I want you to worry about. That’s all I need to keep going.

~S~S~S~

Starsky POV

The next time Hutch zones out on me, it scares me all the way to Oz and back. We’re half-heartedly chasing a snitch who don’t want to continue his association with us into an alley filled with soggy boxes and empty barrels. Seems to be an abundance of those in Bay City.

The damn snitch pulls a gun, but doesn’t even aim. He shoots wildly into the air three times. I can tell he’s just dickin’ us around. I decide not to pursue. The guy ain’t gonna talk anyway. I turn to wave Hutch off when my heart reaches up and tries to strangle me.

Hutch is down. Spread eagle on top of some crushed boxes. Lookin’ broke and discarded like a Ken doll two weeks after Christmas. I run to him and cautiously turn him over, lookin’ for blood and feelin’ for broken bones. Then I see those empty eyes again.

~H~H~H~

Running down corridors  
Through automatic doors  
Got to get to you  
Got to see this through  
I see hope is here in a plastic box  
I've seen Christmas lights reflect in your eyes  


~H~H~H~

Hutch POV/Flashback

Gunshots.

You died Starsky.

You fuckin’ died on me.

They let me visit for a few minutes after the miracle you pulled. I don’t remember much of that hour when you died. I was running down corridors. Automatic doors that were way too slow as I gritted my teeth and pried them open. They told me to try and talk to you. It would comfort you, they said. I was all for that. Might even comfort me. 

So I told you about the deal I made with God. We aren’t really on speaking terms, but he did give you to me, and I’d be damned if I gave you back without a fight. I didn’t bow my head or ask forgiveness. The Big Guy would have known that was a load of crap anyway.

I threatened him like I would a weak-assed goon. Hutchinson finger and all. I told him to keep his hands off of you or He’d have one pissed off partner knocking at the pearly gates with a bloody Magnum in his hands. And it would be His fault because I warned him. Guess the Old Guy is merciful after all. 

I tell you because I know you can’t get out of that bed to kick my ass for thinking that way.

Seeing you alive after knowing you were dead was like Christmas morning. The kind of Christmas morning I only experienced with you. If you squinted real hard, the monitors did a good imitation of green, yellow and red twinkling lights.

~S~S~S~

Starsky POV

After I figured out that it’s the sound of gunshots that triggered my partner’s trips to La-La land. I tried to get him to talk about it. For a guy that never shuts up when we ride in my car side by side, he sure is closed mouthed about his feelings when he’s got his head in my lap and I’m pettin’ his goldilocks. I finally got him to admit that he flashbacked when he heard shots. 

But that was it. No details. No release. No way he was gonna see a shrink like I suggested. He fell asleep and I relaxed watching an old re-run of The Wild Wild West. Little Doctor Loveless was about to do some evil deed and murder a shackled Artie while he was at it. I loved that show. I smiled when good old James West came in with guns and tight pants blazing. Jimbo fired his six-shooter three times.

Hutch was on his feet and breathin’ hard in a second. He collapsed to the floor and knelt in front of me with unseeing eyes. He took my hand.

~H~H~H~

You got wires, goin' in  
You got wires, comin' out of your skin  
There's dry blood on your wrist  
Your dry blood on my fingertip  


~H~H~H~

Hutch POV/Flashback

Gunshots.

I hear them.

Waiting for me.

Keep breathing, babe. They say you’re doing better. They smile at me when they say it. But I watch their eyes. Try to detect the lie if it’s there. I spot some dried blood on your wrist I follow the trail with my fingertips to where the last vampire-in-training had stuck you.

There is an insane rage in my heart. How dare they hurt you with a careless blood draw. How dare they mark your flawless skin with needle marks. I flash on you holding me in an alley. Checking my arm for track marks. I wish I could lock you away in a room and hug you through this pain. I hear the siren call of the H. I wondered when it would call now that you aren’t standing guard over me.

I stare at the blood that has been transferred to my fingertips. I make a tight fist and watch the veins pop in my arm. I make another deal this time with the H. Wait for me, honey. I got things to do first. But if he dies, I’m all yours.

~S~S~S~

Starsky POV

I turn off Jim and Artie as they smile and toast each other on the train. It’s bad this time. I can’t seem to reach Hutch at all. I have a crazy thought that maybe it’s like sleepwalkin’. If I get him to bed, maybe I could gently wake him up. Maybe I could get him to see it as a nightmare he needs to wake up from. At least I know he’ll be safe in my arms where he is supposed to be. I shake my head at that thought. I love the big lummox and I’m never gonna leave him. Maybe it would help to tell him so.

Hutch is compliant when I take him to the bedroom. I’m able to get his jeans and shirt off. His eyes are gray and vacant. His skin cold. I manage to get him into sweats to keep him warm. I crawl under the covers and move him carefully into my arms. I continue to stroke his hair and his back whispering nonsense words of comfort into his ear.

~H~H~H~

Running down corridors  
Through automatic doors  
Got to get to you  
Got to see this through  
First night of your life  
Curled up on your own  
Looking at you now  
You would never know  


~H~H~H~

Hutch POV/Flashback

Gunshots.

One more left.

Maybe two.

Today I run through those corridors with a satisfied smirk on my face. I’m ready to take down Gunther. I won’t tell you how I’m going to do it, Starsk. You are still too weak to start worrying about me. I’ll just tell you enough to see that proud smile on your face. Enough to evoke a precious hand squeeze and a, “Way to go, buddy boy.” You are awake. 

Alive. 

I’m going in alone, Starsk. The other guys know this has got to be my bust, my way. What nobody knows is that I might kill him, he might die. Three bullets to the chest. I won’t decide till I see his face. I better see fear. I better see an old man whose world had crumbled. Because if I don’t see it, you may never see me again.

You look so good tonight. Like you just woke up and there’s nothing wrong with you that a strong cup of coffee and a donut wouldn’t cure. But then again you’ve just started a new life, haven’t you? A second chance. I love you, Starsk. I won’t tell you.

I feel like maybe you are too good for me now. A miracle, an angel sent back to earth. I don’t deserve you, babe. Maybe I will kill Gunther. Take myself out of your life and let you start fresh. You ask, “What’s wrong, babe?” I kiss the top of your curly head, “Love ya, partner,” I say and walk away.

~S~S~S~

Starsky POV

I hold him close and watch his expression. I know he’s reliving those first days at the hospital. I sink deep into his eyes trying to imagine if it had been Hutch who had been at death’s door. If we had taken the LTD that day, I might be the one who chased the devil through the gates of hell to drag my partner back home. 

Home. This was home to Hutch. My arms were the only place my partner felt at home. I knew that. But I wasn’t man enough to let him stay. I stroked his cheek calling him tenderly back to me. It crossed my mind to kiss those plump soft lips. What the hell, it worked for Prince Charming, right? I kissed the worry lines on his forehead first. Then the tiny laugh lines at the corners of his mouth. I took the plunge and kissed those sweet Hutchinson lips. I heard a sound like a soft moan and deepened the kiss. Hutch opened his mouth and jumped right in.

I gently released him and backed away just enough to see his eyes. Blue lamp lights flickered all around my face. He was stunned, but all there. He was all mine.

~H~H~H~

I see it in your eyes  
I see it in your eyes  
You'll be alright  
I see it in your eyes  
I see it in your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Alright  


~H~H~H~

Hutch POV

Gunshots.

Lovingly replaced.

With a shield

What the hell? I’m in Starsky’s bed. In his arms. In his mouth! Oh, God. Did I die after all? You can tell me, God. We’re pals now. No hard feelings. Shit. Hard feelings. I definitely am having hard feelings. 

Why is Starsky pulling away? Oh, I must have zoned on him again. I let my eyes move across his face. He’s alright. I know it now. He’s alright. And he’s mine. I tell him, “We’re alright, now.” He kisses me again and the automatic doors close and fade away.

~S&H~S&H~S&H~

Running down corridors  
Through automatic doors  
Got to get to you  
Got to see this through  
First night of your life  
Curled up on your own  
Looking at you now  
You would never know


End file.
